What's even better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Not being retarded..

<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on her lower lip

<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid

<Kint> King Quest
<Kint> OPEN DOOR
<Kint> LOOK SWORD
<Kint> FUCK GNOME IN ASS

Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up

Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax

Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"

Primus521: turns out he misheard him

Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs

Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face